Personal: Five years.

My dear, dear Miss Bella,

Five. You are five years old. When did that happen?! In my mind, yesterday you were a toddling little thing, screeching excitedly about bugs in the grass and whining about water in your face. Last week you were a tiny baby, just learning to grab at things and smile. But now, you’re five. You’re not tiny anymore. You can write and read small words. You can brush your own teeth and hair, put your own clothes on. You go to school with just a quick hug and kiss, and you’re off. Where has the time gone?

I’d like to say that I haven’t missed one precious moment of you growing into this brilliant, fiesty, creative, beautiful little person, but I’m not perfect. I’ve maybe spent too much time cleaning. Too much time messing around on the internet. Too much time doing things that aren’t spending time with you. I do know, though, that you are one of the two most important things in my life. I enjoy sitting down and playing with you. I love reading books with you. Coloring. Playing board games. Drawing rainbows on the sidewalk with chalk. Jumping in mud puddles. Baking cupcakes… experiencing the world through your beautiful, five-year-old eyes. You teach me how to appreciate life and all it’s beauties, just by being you and letting me join you in your world of amazement, even if it’s just for a moment every day.

You are my first baby. I tell you this when you’re feeling a little left out with the new baby here. You are my first baby, and you’ve taught me more than any human being could ever teach me. I’ve had five beautiful years to get to know you, and to help you learn and grow. Little do you know, though, you’ve helped me learn and grow, too. I was far too young when I found out you were coming, and in the short few months I had to prepare I changed from a self-involved, snotty, foolish teenager into an adult. The adult solely responsible for your health, wellbeing, and happiness. I took the job with confidence, and never looked back. Yes, you are my first baby.

This past year, you’ve learned to read and write a little bit. You’ve learned single digit addition. You’ve learned what it really means to be a friend and a kind person, and how to deal with people who don’t have that seed of knowledge yet. You’ve welcomed a baby sister into your world with ease. You’ve also learned how to lie. You’ve had a few stealing incidents as well, coming home with things stuffed in your pockets, and even your socks. You’ve learned how to be courageous. You’ve learned that it’s okay when you’re not. You’ve learned what it takes to press my buttons, and do it often… especially when you’re mad. You’ve learned that gender doesn’t determine anything, but what the majority thinks sort of goes. If that’s the case, you’d rather be a boy.

You’re still afraid of deep snow. You still love dinosaurs and dragons. You have actually picked up a barbie doll a few times. Your closet must be closed at all times. Rainboots must be worn daily. You’re determined to learn how to yo-yo. You would watch DESPICABLE ME all day every day if I’d let you. When I’m in a hurry you move in slow motion. When I’m running behind on time you’re three steps ahead of me. You only eat green vegetables, berries, and pudding. You draw pictures more than anything else. Power Rangers = LIFE. Your favorite color is green, but changes frequently. You still kiss boo boos and pat my back if I cough. You are still beautiful, kind, and creative. You are no longer afraid of most things. You’re still just as stubborn as I am.

Little (BIG) girl, I love you. “More than chocolate cake, and all the way to Pluto.” I look forward every day to learning more about who you are, who I am, and the world around us.

Love you for always,
Your Mama.

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